1. |
Penalty Kill
02:46
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If the whole world was passive aggressive, Truman two would be salvation
Call it fallout, or what you will it's all gone to hell
And trust me I'm no better I might be the worst of it all
It's hard to move when I can't eat and I'm buried in an attitude of selfdefeat
This is the definition of insanity
My lungs, my throat are bleeding
Empty words, to an open sky
From a voice that I'm not sure is mine
I'd give anything to change
I'd throw it all away not to stay the same
I can't take another day
Of pushing everyone away.
Heads up, like Rivers and Dorset
But I always seem to forget
To let love in, that's just who I am.
Futility and repetition. The centerpiece of self-annihaltion.
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2. |
Baja Racoon
02:58
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Most days I'm choking on chlorine I threw in my own face
Shoving two fingers down my throat gagging on problems my head made
Thrashing around the ground, waiting for leaves to fall
Eating flowers and dirt to get the taste out of my mouth
The walking contradiction, misanthropic but lonely
The antagonist, to steady progress, Just out of reach
Cursed with two left feet to dance around the issue
Running backwards with a battle cry, maybe next year.
Always counting on, the promise of tomorrow
Because the present, is such a hard act to follow.
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3. |
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If the paramedics come, please send them away, they won't do me any good.
I've been dying for what feels like years, to forget certain words, trying not to hate my favorite songs.
So if you hear the sirens, promise me you won't worry, know I'm better off.
After all that I've said, and all that I've done, I owe something an apology, I wish I knew what it was.
At the root of things, I'm not sure who I am.
Day by day I play scholar, try to learn all I can.
I hope you understand. I'm so sorry. And I'm not sure why I am.
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4. |
Mom Van
02:50
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I'm sorry mom I started smoking today
I wish that I could say it wasn't true
Don't worry dad, I quit right away
It's not for me and I thank you
The smoke alarm is going off, I was playing with fire
But you can't blame me I'm just trying to eat
That's just an excuse, the same one I always use
Try to be cool in my bare feet
Will this pain in my chest ever go away?
Am I stuck with this forever?
Will this pain in my chest ever go away?
Am I stuck with it forever?
I wonder if these nights are getting longer
Because the days seem to get shorter
I wonder if these nights are getting longer
Because they sure seem to get colder
I wonder if I'm getting better
I have to be getting better
I wonder if I'm getting better
I need to be getting better
I'm afraid, a bit bitter, and so tired
But I swear to God I'll recover
This is a journey
My life's a big cliché
It's not about the destination
I just know I'll get there someday.
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5. |
Plebians
03:55
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6. |
This Isn't Folgers Boys
02:08
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I spent the bulk of my life mad at everything and everyone.
It was useless, just like I was.
And even though I'm not sure, what my use is.
I can't consider my life a nuisance.
Until now, I couldn't have known. I was jumping rooftops with my eyes closed.
I can't forget the boy I used to be, I can only create the man that I want to see.
Wallflowers and stars, are finite. They're like everything else, and we all die.
What's left when everything's romanticized, there can't be reason in empty minds.
Laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Curled up in a ball so tight I lose feeling.
Or lifting up my face. Making living worthwhile. Give the pain a place.
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7. |
Body Bag
02:03
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Fate lays where it fell, throwing rocks in a stone house.
My dad sat me down and said, "doesn't everything always work out?"
I gave up on wanting to understand, and focused more on living.
I gave up on drinking, it just seems too much like drowning.
It's the principle, no sense in hiding.
And if it's dark enough, it seems inviting.
Past the knife fights and broken streetlights, there is a comfort, in a cold sunrise.
In spite of bleeding knees, and harsh formalities, there is a trust in overgrown mint leaves.
Under the overpass, in all the shattered glass, there is a peace in nights spent sleepless.
There are needles, and hateful people. But still benevolence to pick up the pieces.
On dirty brick roads and in burnt down homes, there is a promise a sick of hope.
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8. |
Twice
02:44
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I've been instructed on the plank in my pupil from those with trees in theirs to sell me compassion with crooked teeth caked in empathy.
Too many days went by when I looked myself in the eyes and they faded from blue to gray.
When my heart beats out of my chest there will be nothing left, and that's the world's to take.
This lack of brevity, I swear it's killing me, just say what you need to say, when I'm dead let me stay that way.
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9. |
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I have my regrets, don't we all? But I swore they'd never get to me.
I don't want to make myself a liar, six feet never looked so much like home.
I run from things I can't control, because cowardice is my normality.
I've been lost for so long that it just feels natural.
I am broken, I am incomplete, there's so much fear inside of me.
The word are easy to say, but hard to here. I can't take it, I don't deserve it, just leave me be.
(Oh Mother) Is this what you had in mind, so many years ago? The face of innocence turned to a heart of stone.
(Oh Father) I need you to understand, this is no fault of yours. The weight on my shoulders is of my own accord.
I am my own demons. I have never felt free. I dug my own coffin. I built my own grave.
It gets so hard to live, again and again, when I don't know who I am, or where to lay my head.
Where do I lay my head?
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10. |
Tree Climbing
02:57
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I was born nervous, but the universe is telling me something different.
And I'm talking to myself far too much, and I think I'm starting, to lose its trust.
We have so much in common, it's easy to be honest.
But just as easy to be afraid, it's all just give and take.
There are voids in everything.
Between the moon and stars and my heart and me.
But light reaches everything eventually.
And mine brings its warmth with blue eyes and crooked feet.
I've always been afraid of everything, but one soft smile convinced me to breathe.
And from here I doubt that there's a better view, and if I never left it would be too soon.
Somedays I can feel the emptiness and the weight it brings falling off my chest.
I just hope my fingers are strong enough, to hold on to what I've become.
I am content, I am happy. I'll be damned before I forget that again.
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